Why (Poem by Elle Prince)

Decisions were made that cut like a knife
Never imagined the pain that entered my life
I struggle with the choices made by one in love
Seeing the one you’re supposed to love hurting
Not the marriage I dreamed of
Did you think of me when you lay in her arms?
The same arms you promised would protect me from harm
The destruction you caused with the action you took
The promises made, the vows you forsook.
How can I ever feel safe with you knowing what I know?
Knowing you allowed her into our lives
A place she shouldn’t have been able to go
I didn’t pay enough attention; I didn’t give my body at your command
You single-handed destroyed my trust in you, was that all in your plan?
I have to know why you chose me in the first place
To turn around and cloud my life with shame and disgrace
To cause me to walk with my head hung low
Unable to overcome the pain and just let go
Time has passed and wounds were supposed to heal
The memory of your transgressions and what’s left to reveal
Make it hard for me to move on from what you’ve done
To our marriage, to our family for a moment of adulterated fun
I have to know why you chose this route
Why couldn’t you just leave?
Rather than annihilate my heart and soul
I will never be able to conceive
Of a reason why someone would inflict such pain in the name of love
A union that was supposed to be blessed from heaven above
But you did it and the deed can’t ever be taken back
I can’t take the hurt; I must keep my sanity intact.
I will walk away for the shred of dignity I have left
And overcome what you’ve done rather than take my last breath
You’re not worth the life that I have ahead of me
The kids need me and I choose them
Not living for the man you used to be.
But I have to know why it was important to inflict this on us
Instead of taking the high road, the problems we could have discussed.
It was easier to seek the attention in someone else
Instead of getting to know me and how I really felt
The unanswered questions will continue to cause me to cry
But I will no longer seek to know the reason why.